It's called crazy

Wow, what a whirlwind of sunshine, babies and big, big developmental changes.

Olive figured out how to get herself around (scooting) this week and has developed the enchanting sleep time habit of incessantly rolling over and pushing to sit up, over and over and over and over again. She will be frantic with fatigue, weeping, and will continue to roll over and push up, like a little automaton. Going to sleep used to take a bit of boob, a book, some songs, and night night. Now it's hours of crying. Poor monkey. Poor mummy and daddy. Everyone is tired, tired, tired. Olive also started clapping and waving this week. Picture this: wee monkey sitting up on her futon, sobbing, grinning and waving. It's called crazy folks, and we're experts.

Etta Mae started to come to stay with us this week while her mama returns to toil at "work", although I think we'd both say that "work" has nothing on the work we do at home with these little ladies. I was so worried about how well this whole child care sharing would go, and there are going to be some definite rough patches around sleep, but the secret, unexpected delights? They are great. Olive and Etta find each other endlessly amusing. We knew that they liked each other, but these great swaths of time side by side are leading to some pretty wild giggle fits. Etta spits out cucumber, Olive giggles. Then Etta giggles. Then Doug and I giggle. Then everyone is giggling. Olive hiccups. Etta giggles. The cycle goes on. Thank the gods for the giggles, otherwise the crying, clinging, and general sleeplessness might just drive me around the bend.

Witness, Olive finally sleeps while Etta sports a gravel goatee. Also, the finished birthday crown! Woo hoo!

Happy Birthday Etta Mae!

I love these girls. I feel so, so lucky to have had a friend like Jana in my life for so many years, and then to luck into getting pregnant at the same time, what a gift. Her little Miss Etta Mae turns one today. Good job mama J! You are such an amazing, inspiring mama and I am so thankful to have shared this journey with you. And Etta, you are pure pixie ninja magic, all squished up in one wee little body. We love you little monkey.

Photo by Cameron.

Library workers put the FUN in FUNny

Good ol' fashioned library fun from some of my favourite peeps. Aw, you kids rule!

Adorable cuteness

Freaking adorableness abounds chez nous these days. Olive, struggling to crawl, to walk, to get mobile, is spending nap time rolling off her futon to play. We were finding her lying belly down on the floor perusing her books. So we moved the books out of her room. Yesterday I found her by the door trying to get the garbage can full of poopy wipes open. Today she spent an hour (inbetween nursing with mum) using all of her considerable 10 month old dexterity to get that blasted dresser drawer open. Thank the gods that dresser weighs a million pounds and the drawers are sticky and impossible to open one-handed. Inconvenient for mummy? Yes. Safer for Olive? Definitely. And when she's discovered, red-handed, what does she do? Flash her 4-toothed mega-watt grin as if to say "Mama, what did you really think I was going to do when there is so much to discover?"

In utter frustration after an hour of trying to get her to sleep yesterday afternoon I strapped her into her stroller, made a little cave of receiving blankets and started walking. Little miss put her hands behind her head, kicked back and was snoozing before we'd walked 3 blocks. Hmmm, it seems that strapping her down is now the only option. Good thing the weather is gorgeous - mummy needs some exercise anyways.

Olive wearing Claire's hair.

Up

What's up:

Still trying to get Olive to sleep better. Still not getting enough sleep myself. Still struggling with anxiety and self doubt. Nothing new in this department.

People giving advice. Well meaning people with well meaning advice. All of which directly contradicts the advice of another person. Or that expert book. I say, kaka. So Douglas and I decided last night, as I tearfully laid in bed exhausted yet unable to sleep, that he is going to be the logic around all sleep decisions these days. I'm not going to read anything more about it - he will do the reading, and he will be in charge of reality checks. I just have to keep my head down and keep trying to get Olive and I some sleep in the happiest way possible for everyone.

Revelations about childcare. I'm not into daycare for babies. I am not into daycare period. But I have to work half-time if we're going to eat, so Olive needs some care. Luckily that care will be in the form of my best friend and her little daughter Etta Mae, so Olive will spend her time with someone who loves her and with a companion. I will take Etta on my days off, Jana will take Olive on her days off. We need extra high chairs, car seats, a double stroller, yada yada. Oh yeah, and, it's going to be REALLY HARD. I watched Etta on Friday and got a bit more of a reality check than I had in the past because, guess what? Etta runs. Runs away. Runs around. Sticks her fingers in things. Our house? Not baby proof. Yikes. So, anxiety has now set in about caring for two very loving, very sweet, very precocious babes who DON'T SLEEP easily on very little sleep myself. Oh, sweet baby Jesus, sweet mama earth, please, please help me through this.

On the up side I'm busily knitting away on my cashmere sweater. I bought some adorable fabric to make the misses summer jammies. And Etta's birthday crown is under way.

High ho.

Should be doing something else

I LOVE this. It is what I aspire to. It is divine & adorable & delicious & whimsy, whimsy, whimsy.

So, here I am, reading blogs, vegetating while Olive naps when I really should be:
- finally cleaning my sewing machine in anticipation of : a) making Olive diapers (yes, it's true! they are going to be fabulous!), b) making Etta her birthday crown, c) making Etta a birthday baby, d) making Olive a tumble mat for beside her futon to replace the folded up ancient comforter that currently resides there for that purpose.
- doing some yoga. I am so woefully out of shape that my once weekly trip to kneel at my yoga teachers feet is just a joke (hamstrings - so, so tight. abdominal muscles, what?).
- planting the beautiful plants that our good friend Terry brought us from her gorgeous garden.
- then there is the cleaning. But we won't go there.

Why am I doing this? Because Olive woke up at 6 AM after waking up about 6 times last night. When, oh when will I ever sleep again?

So. Off I go!

Oh yeah, gonna wear my skin tight hot pink feminist t-shirt today and nuture my baby at the same time. Yo, I'm a rebel.

Mama love

Ah, my very first mama's day was divine!

I slept in, then big D. brought in the little monkey for some snuggle time, then while Olive had her morning nap we drank coffee and read the Saturday Globe & Mail (whose new redesign I do not enjoy at all). Interesting book reviews on mothering and feminism. It all just irks me a bit - I am a staunch feminist and proud mama - why do you want me to work full time as well? Oi! I think that the most political thing I can do is raise my own children.

Oh yeah, then we packed a picnic lunch (bagette, goat cheese, roast chicken, raw veggies & hummous, pita, dried morrocan olives) and headed out to meet our sweet friends Jana, Cameron and Etta Mae at the Reifel Bird Sanctuary. Sun, squeezes, birds, and happy babes.

I love you my monkey. I love the way you smile at me - you glow. I love your snuggles and discoveries, thrilled with yourself that you can now waggle your tongue back and forth. You've brought more joy, more challenge into my life than I knew was possible. You rock my world Miss Olive. Thank you, thank you, thank you world for bringing me this girl. She is pure love.

The Return

Well, well, well, we're back from our epic voyage and very happy to be snuggled back up in our beds with our daddy.

We had a lovely time with Nanny, Auntie Chris, cousin Gloria, Great Grama, Great Grampa, Pa, Kaitlyn, and Auntie Kelly. There were many snuggles and kisses, and Olive worked very hard on getting mobile. Crawling is on the very near horizon. Signing has begun. She loved the walking and the playing, but missed all of her baby friends and of course, most of all, her daddy. Sleep was shit - fool that I am, I actually thought that we'd continue to evolve our sleep situation. On the bright side I've learned a whole new level of patience, and now we'll begin again.

Mother's Day is on its way. It was so, so wonderful to spend this time with my mum and my babe. Olive learned to say NanNan (mum is Nanny) and we spent many hours talking, laughing and playing cards. Oh yeah, and eating! I feel like I am finally learning to trust my instincts, to trust that I am a good mama, and to know what I need to achieve balance. That, I think, is the best gift I could get for my very first Mother's Day. That and some zzzz's.

Ohhh, I missed that husband of mine.

Olive & her cousin Kaitlyn cuddling on their Great Grandparent's lawn in Vernon.