5 Random Things

I've been reading various 5 Random Things posts this week & decided to do it too, without an invite. Because I'm cool like that.

- I really like the smell of the crook of my arm when it doesn't smell like soap or lotion. Like it smells after you haven't had a shower for a couple of days - like the real you.

- When I was a kid I used to count my breaths. They had to be multiples of eight or divisible by two or four but they couldn't be six or that would be bad luck. For real. Intense.

- I really like to be alone in public places sometimes. I love going to the movies or the theatre or out for lunch by myself. Then you never have to discuss what you just saw/ate/experienced - you can just absorb it into yourself.

- I LOVE the Muppet Show. It is burned into my brain. Especially the one with the ghost of the theatre.

- My favourite place on earth is the porch of my grandparents cabin looking out on the lake with a book in my lap. Or laying with Olive all curled into each other nursing.

What saves me

Really, the only thing getting me through these days is chocolate & alcohol. And knitting. And Olive's propensity to dish out a large number of kisses. Without these things, we'd all be dead.

Free! Hat! Pattern!

Here's the new hat pattern I designed. With lace panels. On 2.75mm needles. I almost poked my eyes out - knitting math is so hard.

Thinking about gifts & consumerism & meaning

I spent a great deal of time this week obsessing over whether we should try & buy Olive this barn for Christmas/Solstice. Which is crazy. It's $270 & she's only 16 months old. But it is SO beautiful & I love the ideas behind Waldorf toys.

So I had to sit back & really think about my motivations for buying. About toys & what I think about marketing to children. About what Olive would really enjoy. About my desire to give her things that will spur on her imagination & not just crap that only remains entertaining for a short period of time.

Last night I reread a couple of really great blog posts on toys & came up with some ideas for Olive & my niece Kaitlyn.

Olive loves doing up buckles & zippers. I have a book on sewing kids toys from about 1972 that features a house-boot that I can attach zippers, buckles & buttons to for Olive to play with. And I can make some little felt figures to go inside (like an old woman & her children?). I also received this amazing book for my birthday along with some cashmere (!!!) to knit the creatures out of. I'm planning on making the hen & chicks, along with some eggs & a nest. I was also thinking that a chalk board & some chalk for drawing would be fun, plus a couple of books of course. That should be good for gifts for the wee girlie.

My niece is 6, & is one of those kids whose room is jammed with 50 billion pieces of plastic. Literally. For her I'm going to pick up some early chapter books from the VPL booksale (Frog & Toad, some Doctor Seuss, Amelia Bedelia, good stuff). I'm also going to put together a finger puppet kit with felt, embroidery floss, & needles, & a kit to make clothespin dolls. Clothespin dolls kick Pollypocket's ass.

Toys. Knitting. Must. post. pictures.

Oy! Another amazing birthday present was 4 hours of housecleaning from a friend's lovely housecleaner. This afternoon Shawnee is going to scrub my floors, my tile, my grout. And Olive's going to go play with Etta. And I'm going to the gym! Woohoo!

Time

It was a gorgeous day today. I tried to close my eyes for a moment & just feel the sun on my face & feel that cool autumn air as I pushed the girls along through the cemetary. We had a good hard laugh on the swings. It's so easy to be frustrated with these wee ones, when really so much of our time together is such a huge gift. Olive tried to say "love" last night. Etta calls Olive "Ah-ah".

I'm having a hard time just being in the moment these days. I feel like I have so incredibly little time to myself that even when things are lovely my mind is racing on to the list of things that needs to be done or the many things I can fret over. It is a challenging time. It is busy. There are big life decisions to be made, but sometimes I feel like we are forgetting that the life we have now is it. This is the future. I don't know. It's tough.

Other things:

Joined ravelry. One more online addiction. Uh-oh.

Love this idea for a tradition. I'd like to start some things around here for our family. This Christmas/Solstice will be my first chance to begin some things.

Saw Across the Universe. It was fabulous. The music, the writing, the acting, the cinematography. I cried. It was lovely, lovely, lovely. Loved it. And Doug & I got to see it together. Extra lovely.

Finished a scarf for myself. And a baby sweater. I'll try to upload photos soon. This computer takes one million years to upload photos. And I don't have that kind of time.

Pretty

Overheard at the playground today, "Finn, don't do that, girls don't like to play like that!" (He was tugging on a girl & running around).

Said (by someone other than me) to Olive yesterday, "Don't you look pretty?"

Olive is routinely assumed to be a boy because she isn't always dressed in a) flowers or b) pink.

Who decides how girls like to play? Why can't it be how individuals like to play? Why are girls who are physical, who enjoy a little rough-housing, referred to as tom-boys? Why do we continue to steal our daughter's power like that? It makes me crazy. I felt like calling out the mums in the playground today, pointing out their inherent sexism, but decided that my energy would probably be met with nothing but animosity. It bothers me everytime someone uses the term "pretty". Pretty. Pretty = docile, powerless, pleasant & god forbid, ladylike. My blood is boiling. When will we embrace women as women, however they may choose to present themselves? Feminine is whatever I as a woman choose. And if you want to get technical, there would be nothing more feminine than a woman with hairy armpits & legs, because it grows there naturally.

Must go & nurse my daughter. My fantastically individual daughter.