Comme ci, comme ca

On the minus:

• Olive woke up so many times last night that my boobs were empty skin sacks and my mouth was a parched desert.

• One of the times she was awake she decided to pull my hair and kick me in the back like I was a pony she was riding, then to roll over, jam her arm in a crevice and cry. Repeat until mummy either a) loses her mind, or b) lets you gnaw on her skin sack until you pass out.

• I'm tired, flabby, hungry, self-indulgent, unmotivated and pimply.

• Pre-Olive I read at least a book a week, most often award-winning fiction and non-fiction, as well as all of the Saturday Globe and Mail. Now I read the Style and Review sections, the occasional bit of a baby book and US magazine. Oh yeah, and blogs. I can't handle anything about global climate change, the war, Afganistan, the political right, religious zealotry, child rape, child labour, child soldiers or child abuse. Which seems to be the bulk of the news these days. The world is fucked. And I brought a baby into it. It makes me want to run away to a small commune where people actually care about the planet and each other. So message to everyone else on the planet - SHAPE UP.
  

On the plus:

• Etta found Olive's belly button.
  

• Olive slumped over blowing zerberts on her highchair.
  

• Olive chewing her first ever piece of toast (picture a cow chewing cud).
  

• Olive wrapping her arms around my neck and 'kissing' my shoulder when I carry her.

• Olive's 'my teeth are killing me' face. It's really cute.

• Eating chocolate and watching Survivor and American Idol consecutively while knitting cashmere. Is that dirty?

I'm amending my earlier post - Olive isn't a crappy sleeper. She's a great sleeper. I'm just crappy at teaching her to sleep any other way than on my boob because I'm TIRED people, and when you're as tired as I am, you are not going to spend an hour multiple times a night trying to get your daughter, who is screaming like you're piercing her eyeballs with pins, to fall asleep some other way, when she'll go right back to sleep as soon as you put your boob in her mouth. So, for the record, it's not Olive, it's me.